This weeks lessons are about agency and will. This comes as no surprise considering this week’s astro weather.
What projects are you just about ready to launch?
What grief is holding you back from charging head first into your dreams without fear?
The Mother of Wands delivers our challenge for this second week of January. She is a powerful creatrix, fiercely protective of her work and always loyal to her process. Her energy asks us to dig deep into our reserves and stay fostering our creative younglings. It might be that now is not yet time to launch. Check in with yourself: Do you still need time to incubate? This is the delicate balance the Mother of Wands must always strike, between creator and presenter.
This week, are you the egg that still needs some warming, or the Mother that helps her young grow?
Either way is fine.
Another note on the Mother of Wands: She has been through it all. She has been hurt, she has been duped, she has been traumatized deeply. Yet she has risen to the top of her dominion. And while she doesn’t demand you overcome your trials and be 100% healed or omnipotent, she invites you to take this time to shed your skin. Shed whatever past is keeping you constricted to old memories of pain. You are growing more powerful. The process of outgrowing your safety is not comfortable, but on the other side of the discomfort is freedom. (For a moment, until it is time to grow up again, of course.)
The Mother’s challenge is in believing that you have agency over your life. The Mother’s challenge is in knowing that while, yes, you have been beaten down, that there are systems which seek to see you fail and be exploited–you still have power.
That power is in creation.
The Five of Wands is our strength this week, while the Five of Cups is our advice.
We know when we’re scattered. We know when we’re grieving. We know when our energy is waning, and our emotions are weighing us down.
Sometimes when it feels like all hope is lost, it truly is because of an external something to which we are wholly powerless. But other times, this experience of hopelessness comes from within. We cannot control what opportunities are granted to us. We cannot control the weather, the astrology, or the people in our lives. But we can control our awareness of our internal state. And that is this week’s strength: Awareness of our current struggles as being rooted in ourselves. A realization that even in the midst of chaos, we have agency.
And having agency means that we can initiate change!
We cannot control our emotions, but we can become aware of them and then change how we weaponize or ignore those emotions in our behavior.
If you feel like you are floundering, that is ok.
If you cannot get it together this week, that is ok.
If your brain feels scattered and mushy, that is ok.
But what is it that you need to get unstuck? Imagine a moment in the future where you feel fully present in your creative flow. What are you doing? What supports are in place for you in that moment? What obstacles have been removed?
Note these. Building those supports and either removing or working with those obstacles–that is your next mission.
Before you run off and dig into creative visioning, though, you might want to pause for a moment and just grieve. What sorrow is left in you to feel? The world is heavy, and that’s even before reflecting on our personal pain. If you must cry, go ahead.
Remember what the Mother of Wands challenges us to do: Shed skin, shed whatever constricts and confines you to a self smaller than you are meant to become.
Saying goodbye to a home, to a mask, to a friend, to a lover, to a project, to a dream, is never done without sorrow.
It is true we do not have the power to decide when our wounds heal. But we have the power to give them space, time, air, and dressing so that they may do the magic work of healing themselves.
Take this evening to make a list of all that is in your control. You may want to cut up strips of paper to write on, then fold all the strips up and keep them in a jar. When you feel the tug of grief begging you to spiral, look back at what you’ve written.
You have agency.
I believe in you.
In love & madness,
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